I've Got This

So, in my last post,  clear back in January, I talked about our trip to Hawaii. I haven’t posted since then, because of a couple of things. First the obvious: life gets hectic and blogging doesn’t get done. I’ve said that before. But seriously, for the last 6 months, my husband and I have been grappling with some pretty big potential changes. I wasn’t ready to talk about them on the blog, but I had a hard time even thinking of anything else. So I didn’t write. 

But now, the hard decisions have been made, and it’s just a matter of planning and execution now. 

So, in January we went to Hawaii. Like I said in my last post, we wound up having long discussions about whether we could live in Hawaii. What I didn’t talk about in that post was what happened when we got home. On January 14, we came home to Alaska, from Hawaii. Thanks to Jeep Uconnect, I was able to start my Jeep as soon as we touched down in Anchorage and I took my phone out of airplane mode. That way, it was nice and warm by the time I got my luggage and we got out to the parking lot. But wait. I'm getting ahead of myself.

I walked out of the airport, fresh from the warm air of Hawaii, into the cold of an Alaskan winter:

This is not the parking lot at the airport. But it is winter.

 took one breath, and that’s when I knew. I didn’t want to live here anymore. I immediately, desperately wanted to turn around and go back. And 6 months later, even in the midst of an Alaskan summer, I haven’t changed my mind.

All winter long, when I would say how much I want to move to Hawaii,  James would say “let’s see if you say that in the summer.” The thing is, sometimes Alaskan summers are pretty freaking awesome. The warm, but not hot, sunny summers, that is. Not the cloudy, chilly rainy summers. Those suck. I was sitting outside the other day, and I had to admit that if Alaska was like this all year long, I probably wouldn’t want to move.

I also totally love that it stays light all night here in the summer time.

(Pic taken at 1:54 am)

But Alaska isn’t like that all year.  Summer in Alaska is mercilessly short, which leads me to the other thing that happened, one that was very sad. A friend and coworker, Jeanni, was in a car accident and killed one Saturday. At her memorial, and also on Facebook, one of our mutual friends told a story about the last time she had seen Jeanni before she passed away.  Jeanni absolutely loved unicorns, and she had come across some fancy unicorn bubble gum. Our other friend encouraged her to open it and have a piece, but Jeanni decided she would save that gum for a special occasion, and settled for chewing some “normal" gum instead. A few days later, she was gone, the gum she was saving for a special occasion,  still unopened. Our mutual friend ended the story by saying “Just chew the damn gum." 

Um, mind blown. Such a simple story about a pack of gum that didn’t matter in the big scheme of things at all, probably not even to Jeanni. But oh boy, it resonated with me. Big time. (Thanks, Amber). At that point, James and I had about figured out that we “eventually” wanted to move to Hawaii, but who knew what eventually meant. Maybe in 3 years when my youngest graduates from high school and we don’t have any more kids at home? Maybe never, and just vacation there every couple years? Who knew?

But seriously. Coming home shifted my mindset. Then hearing that story made it impossible for me to ignore it. I really started thinking, long and hard, about what I really wanted. Alaska has warm weather at most 1/3 of the year. The rest of the time, I just wait for it to come back.  And when the weather is warm, there’s an almost frantic feeling in me that I have to wring out every possible second of enjoyment because it goes by so fast. I’m done with that.

I’m 48 years old, and I’ll be 49 in a few months. I’ll be 50 soon. Right now, I can run, and hike, swim, and snorkel, and I can probably learn to paddle board. I have some health problems that may or may not affect my mobility in the future. I have no idea how long I can enjoy this lifestyle. But I know that I want to enjoy it as much as I can while I can, and I want to make it last as long as possible.  I know that I don’t want to spend 2/3 of the rest of my life (the winters) waiting for the other 1/3 (the summers). That’s just not a good use of my time. Is this what they call a mid-life crisis?

Now that I know what I want, I’m not going to wait any longer than I have to.  And luckily, haha, my husband, while not as downright obsessive about it as I am, is at least ok with it, and willing to go along with my impulsive decisions.

So there it is. What all this talk boils down to is, we are moving to Hawaii:

 as soon as we can make it happen. We still have to get the house ready to sell,  and we don’t want to move our youngest in the middle of a school year, so we are planning for next summer. A lot of things can happen between now and next summer, so nothing is set in stone yet, but preparations have begun. Lists have been made. We've started selling things we aren’t taking with us. It’s going to be a busy, hectic year, but what’s new? I excel at busy and hectic. I’ve got this.